COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT KNOWCATIONS

When I talk about taking a Knowcation, most peoples’ reaction is, “I can’t do THAT!”

“Well, why not?” I ask.

“Because I have bills to pay! I can’t afford to just run off to Fiji and drop all my responsibilities forevermore! A Knowcation sounds irresponsible. I can’t just float around doing nothing and never getting anywhere!”

Um. Ok.

Guys, by no means does a Knowcation have to involve quitting your job or running off to la-la land where you can float around all day like a blobby-blob.

These are properties of a VAY-cation, not a Knowcation. There’s a difference.

Vacation: A break from work or from school.

Knowcation: A break from needing to know.

You’re taking a vacation from needing to know, not (necessarily) from needing to work, and certainly not from needing to feed your children or pay for gas. Geesh! Got that straight?

Below I’ve illustrated each of the four common misconceptions by sharing comments people have made on the blog post about my Knowcation of 2007, and I’ve addressed each of them.

1. Taking a Knowcation necessarily involves traveling or changing your physical location

Hey Therese,

Love your blog and your ideas. 🙂 The one thing I want to offer a different perspective on is that going away to a different place is necessarily a good idea or will change anything. I say this as someone who longed to have a grand adventure and so recently went off to spend a year in Europe. What did I learn from this experience? That, while you can be exposed to new languages and meet new people through travel, it’s kind of the same deal everywhere: people go to work, they come home; they’re looking for love, they’re looking for happiness. You’re actually not missing out as much as you think you are by not going abroad, and honestly, the cost and bureaucratic loopholes are both very extensive and very stressful. I found that through it all, I barely had time for any chilling out or soul-searching.

I guess my two cents is that if you’ve wanted to travel your whole life and won’t be happy if you don’t do it, then by all means, go for it. However, I think a lot of people need to realize that not only will travel not solve their confusion, it also probably won’t make it easier to bear or make them happier in any way. I say if you want to explore new relationships or alternate ways of making a living, think about the fact that you can do that anywhere, including at home, where you hopefully have the emotional support of family and friends – and all your legal documents. 🙂

My response:

I agree, JM! Travel is only one option, and it can’t be counted on to give you “the answer” or “happiness” (but then again, neither can anything else give you these things). And in fact, this is what I found out after I arrived back home– I was still just as confused as when I’d left.

No matter WHAT you’re doing and whether you’re traveling or not, can you give yourself permission not to know and to rest in the uncertainty? That’s what this post is all about! 😉

Here’s the thing, guys: a Knowcation has nothing to do with your location. You don’t have to run off to a foreign country or to an island in order to take  Knowcation. If you have the means to travel and if it’s something you’d like to do, then go for it, but travel is not an essential piece of taking a Knowcation. In fact, you can take one in exactly the place you are right now.

A Knowcation is a vacation from needing to know, not a vacation from your physical location!

2. It necessarily involves letting go of your responsibilities (or quitting your job)

Great post, especially if you’re young, single and childless. You can afford to take a risk and let it all go when there’s no-one depending on you, but if you have to keep a roof over your kids’ heads and you have to make sure there’s enough food to fuel their voracious appetites, the idea of letting it all go and seeing what happens becomes a bit impractical. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sentiment. I wish I could let it go and not worry. I don’t care what other people think of me (other than my kids of course) but I can’t just sit back and say it’s okay if I don’t know the answer to how I’m going to earn money. I’ve done the one-way ticket to a new country, did it with my ex and our daughter. Now I have three kids, I’m divorced and a long way from home. My ex is a good man, but somehow I have to figure out what I’m going to do with my life and sitting back and saying it doesn’t matter if I haven’t got all the answers isn’t going to make it happen.

My response:

A Knowcation doesn’t have to involve taking a risk at all! It doesn’t mean we stop working or taking care of our children or bringing home a paycheck– it doesn’t mean that we simply “let it all go and see what happens.” It simply involves allowing our minds to rest in uncertainty, which we can do at the very same time that we’re earning a paycheck, asking questions, and continually finding our way into our truest career paths.

After I returned from Australia, I was working a corporate job, being “responsible,” and paying my bills– and yet this was a Knowcation, too. It was a Knowcation because I gave myself permission not to know:

I came back from Australia just as confused as I had been when I left. I got a second college degree and I found a job and I bought a house, simply because I didn’t really know what else to do. And although I wasn’t wandering aimlessly as I had been before, I still felt lost.

But just as I had done before, I gave myself permission to feel this way. I learned to embrace the uncertainty and to live in it until it was no longer an enemy, but an awkward sort of friend (you know, the kind who stays at the party far longer than you want her to… but oh well). I learned to rest in the open-ended question that is life and to let myself steep in the mystery and the wonder of it all. Above all, I learned to trust.

Three years after my return home, I still rest in that open-ended question. I go to work every day and I still feel as ifthis isn’t quite it. After a 2 ½ year relationship, I find myself back at square one once again. I wonder if I am meant to live in this house or to travel the world; I wonder if I will ever find the right person or the right job (or if such a thing even exists). I still have no effing clue where my life is headed.

You can be responsible, pay your bills, and go to work every day while simultaneously taking a Knowcation, understanding that finding your truest path is a process that happens over time.

Also keep in mind that at the same time that I was resting in uncertainty, I was also taking deliberate steps toward finding my own personal answers. We can “let it all go” and rest in this place of not knowing in which we find ourselves right now… while STILL taking ACTIVE, deliberate, conscious steps toward finding our truest paths (i.e., E & E). This leads me into misconception number 3…

3. It involves accepting life exactly as it is and not doing anything (i.e., staying put)

I love this post and think your points are so valid and worth implementing. So… what if you are feeling desperate to find your calling in order to get out of a job that drains every good thing from you on a daily basis? How is it possible to let that “be” when it takes so much away but when there are bills still to be paid?

My response:

Good question– this is probably one of the hardest things to understand. Here’s the thing: you don’t necessarily have to let your crappy job “be”– you just have to let your feeling of confusion be. The two things are COMPLETELY separate. You can (and probably should) leave your job for something else; you can continue to search and wonder and question; you can take the path that makes the most sense for you right now (even though your understanding is limited right now), AND AT THE SAME TIME YOU CAN STILL LEARN TO BE OK WITH YOUR CONFUSION. You do the best you can with the limited answers you have right now.

Like I wrote to Vanessa above, letting go doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to sit back and do nothing. By all means, try to get out of a situation that is making you miserable. By all means, keep asking questions and searching!! At the same time, you can learn to let go of your need for the answers to come right now.

Learning to be OK with being lost and learning to let go of needing all the answers does NOT have to be synonymous with sitting back and doing nothing. You can let go and “be” while taking action at the very same time.

While I was working at my accounting job I was taking a Knowcation, and at the very same time I was exploring, writing The Unlost, and actively taking steps to find my way. I was being active and not passive– in other words, I was practicing E & E.

4. The purpose of a Knowcation is to find answers

Hahahaha!

Guys, have you been listening this whole time at all?

The purpose of a Knowcation is NOT to find answers.

The purpose of a Knowcation is to let go of needing to know the answers!

Remember how when I came home from Australia, I was still confused about life? And that was OK!

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the purpose of a Knowcation is to find answers. Remember that taking a Knowcation simply means that you become OK with the fact that right now, you don’t know all the answers– and that HOLY COW, maybe that’s OK.

Also remember, though, that this doesn’t mean the answers won’t come.

Ironically, it often just so happens that the more you let go, the more the answers begin to emerge… i.e., “Every day I am crumbling more apart and yet more together all at the same time.”

It’s a weird and little known (yet very true) fact that the more you are able to let go of your need to know, the more easily the answers you’re seeking often appear. Very strange indeed! 🙂

Our culture teaches that to find our purpose, we must control our future actions and make a plan and stick to it. Paradoxically, the movement we desire comes just at the moment when we stop being so afraid.

– Carol Adrienne

READY TO TAKE A KNOWCATION?

Take the next 10 minutes to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and go on a guided Knowcation.

The video below will take you there — all you have to do is hit play :-).

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Next: Move on to Section 3.3: Calibrating your compass