Now that you’ve created your aliveness compass, you have a heightened awareness of what brings you most alive.
However, you’re still left with a mind-boggling question: HOW IN THE HECK DO YOU FIND A JOB THAT MATCHES THESE QUALITIES? If we can’t always think our way into the answers or identify “the perfect endpoint” in advance, then how do we find our way into our truest paths?
In this quick and semi-dark video (hey, I never claimed to be a professional videographer!), I explain the secret.
The other week I went to a yoga class on the beach in Santa Monica. “Yoga On The Beach With Brad!”, read the yellow sign that stuck up from the sand.
Looks like a good time!”, I thought to myself. And so I laid out my towel alongside the rest of the students and waited for class to begin.
“Welcome,” said Brad. He towered above the class, smiling radiantly as the California waves crashed behind him.
“I want to start off with a question,” said Brad. “What is the purpose of yoga? Why are you here today?”
“For a workout!” answered one lady enthusiastically.
“Yeah,” said another, “to exercise so I can get toned and fit and sexy lookin’!”
A few others in the class nodded in agreement.
“WRONG!” said Brad, and he paused for a moment before continuing. “If getting toned and fit was the key to happiness,” Brad told us, “then everyone at Gold’s Gym down the street would be the happiest people on earth.”
We all laughed heartily.
“The purpose of yoga is not to be toned and fit, to get a workout, or even to be happy,” he said. “The purpose of yoga is simply to stay with the breath. When we practice each pose, we breathe in and we breathe out more deeply than ever before. Even if your muscles are trembling or your body is dripping with sweat, even if you are falling out of your pose or failing to live up to your own expectations, and even if there are distractions all around you, you simply continue to breathe in and out. You stay calm and centered on the breath. This… is what yoga is about. And this is why yogis are so happy… not because they are toned and fit and good looking, but simply because, day in and day out, they practice and they stay with the breath. They have realized that as long as they stay with their breath, they are more often happy than unhappy.”
And yet, here’s the cool thing: staying focused on the breath doesn’t mean that we day in and day out, as we stay with the breath, it just so happens that we become toned and fit in the process.
So it is with our careers, too: if getting the “perfect job” was they key to happiness, then everyone who had their ideal job would be happy– and yet we know of people who’ve attained their dream careers only to find that they’re still unhappy. It’s all too obvious that even the “perfect job” cannot, in itself, bring us happiness.
To return to the yoga analogy, what if the key was simply to “stay with the breath”—to focus on your sense of aliveness—rather than focusing so much on finding the perfect job, the perfect Point D?
And what if, day in and day out, as you continue to experiment and to focus on what brings you most alive, it just so happens that you discover the perfect job in the process?
In fact, what if you were paradoxically more likely to find the “perfect job” by focusing on your aliveness than by focusing on finding the perfect job and on chasing happiness?
Chew on that for a few minutes, dudes & dudettes.
And so in our experimentation, we shift away from an endpoint view (“fit and toned,” “perfect career,” “happiness,””Point D”) and toward a process view (“staying with the breath,” “focusing on the aliveness,” “Point B”). And in the process, we absolutely get where we’re going; we absolutely become fit and toned and find great careers over time. But importantly, we also arrive somewhere much more vital, and that is right here— into the present moment, into where we are (and who we are) right now, already. We arrive into the happiness that already is.
Listen closely– this is important: When we choose an experiment to kick off our E & E process, it’s not so vital that we start off choosing something that we think will propel us into the “perfect Point D.” In fact, some of our experiments might not be directly career-related at all, and that’s ok. The goal is simply to focus on our aliveness.
How can I bring more aliveness into my life? is the most important question to focus on, because– remember– in the process of accessing your aliveness, you will inevitably get where you’re going– to Point D– over time.
Instead of obsessing about where you’ll end up or how you’ll get there. Using your aliveness compass to guide you, simply ask, “How can I do more of this in any way possible? How can I bring more aliveness into my life right now?”
Check out the interview clip below with an important role model in my life, Soren Gordhamer, founder and organizer of the Wisdom 2.o Conference in Silicon Valley. The conference brings together big names from the tech industry (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, Google-type people) and from the mindfulness/wisdom realm (e.g., Eckhart Tolle, Jack Kornfield, John Kabat-Zinn to discuss how we can live with greater presence, mindfulness and meaning in a technology rich age. (You can check out Soren’s full interview right over here.)
I don’t think it’s great to say, “How do I make my entire life aligned? I don’t know if that’s the best question. I think the best question is, What brings me alive? What brings me energy? And how do I get even just a dose of that? So if you’re at a job you really dislike, and you really just love… I don’t know, something that just really brings you alive, do that to whatever degree you can. And just trust that the more you do that, and the more you give that attention, that will show itself in whatever way it needs to show itself.
Rather than the satisfaction coming from some future moment way off when your whole life is just doing whatever you enjoy, I think if we can find enjoyment and trust and excitement in every step of the journey, and then it’s much more satisfying.
So if we’re a waitress at a job and we really desire to be a dancer and teach dance… great, let’s move in that direction, but let’s also bring as much love and kindness and sweetness and humor and care to that job while we are there. This is our life. Every role we play has the potential to feel satisfying and to be able to connect with people.
And if you’re a waitress and you want to dance… that’s great, explore all that, but dance your way to the kitchen! Rather than looking only to the future, ask “What do I love about dance, and can I bring the spirit of that into my life? It’s the spirit of it that we really want.”
To get started in coming up with your first experiment, I’ve found it’s really helpful to start by brainstorming a list of possible experiments. Don’t worry if they’re “perfect” or if you think you’d actually want to do them; just throw out a list to get things rolling. (This is actually the second solo exercise within your Module 4 homework– you can get started now using the Module 4 SOLO TWO homework worksheet).
When brainstorming, try the best you can to use your aliveness compass in mind: How can you expand upon or experience more of the WHOs, WHATs, WHEREs, WHYs, and QUALITIES that you already know bring you most alive– or how can you experience less of those WHOs, WHATs, WHEREs, WHYs, and QUALITIES that make you least alive?
Alternatively, also keep in mind that there are likely lots of WHOs, WHATs, WHEREs, WHYs, and QUALITIES that you haven’t yet experienced or been exposed to — that’s why it’s also often a good idea to try new things even if we AREN’T sure whether they fit into our aliveness compass. Then, as we’re constantly experimenting and evaluating, we can continually expand our understanding of what makes us come alive and attain a more accurate understanding of our compass.
In the next section, I’ll give you a list of example experiments to help you get started.
Also remember that you can choose experiments that are either “direct” or “indirect,” and both types will ultimately affect the way in which you navigate your career path.
Direct experiments are experiments that are more directly related to career, whereas indirect experiments may appear to be more “personal” than career-related in nature. However, this doesn’t mean that they can’t be just as effective in helping us find our career paths– remember the story about “focusing on the breath” rather than on the end result! 😉
When I started doing yoga, for example, it was more of an indirect experiment than a direct one: I didn’t do it because it was related to anything I thought would be career-related for me. And yet the more I did it, the more alive I felt, and as a result, every piece of my life began to transform. The way I showed up in the world changed: I was more energized and willing to try new things, meet new people, and start new initiatives. As a result, new work opportunities began to appear in my life left and right, opportunities that never would’ve materialized without trying this indirect experiment.
Changing one thing– directly or indirectly– can change everything, particularly if that one thing is something that brings you madly, passionately, insanely alive. The important thing about your experiment is that it makes you feel more alive, not what it looks like to an outsider.
In the “direct” category, also remember that you can try new things inside of your current job as well as outside. To try something new within your current job, one question you might ask is this: What challenges do you or your coworkers complain about at work? How can you take initiative?
For example, even within my accounting job, I began taking initiative as an experiment: Without direction from above, I began setting up interviews with finance persons and departments managers and VPs with whom I’d worked, asking them for feedback on how our departments could work together more efficiently. The people I met with were both impressed with my initiative and appreciative of the opportunity to be listened to. After meeting with several people, I set up a meeting with my director, explaining the results of my work, proposing department initiatives to close the gaps and to improve effectiveness, efficiency, and inter-department relations, and offering to head them up. As a result, my director was impressed and the persons with whom I’d spoken felt listened to and valued.
(I didn’t stay with the company long enough to bring these initiatives to fruition, but had I done so, I’m convinced it could’ve evolved into new and unforeseen opportunities: I’d already begun to become well known within the organization for my initiatives and had built important relationships and contacts. Had I had time to follow through more on my initiative, I would’ve had new recommendations and impressive new projects to put on my resume. I would’ve felt as if I’d made a meaningful contribution within my workplace, something that I didn’t necessarily feel in my “normal” day-to-day job.)
Now, for the list.
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Next: Move on to Section 4.4: Doing Your Experiment- Examples + Overcoming Stumbling Blocks